Assumption is the mother of the screw-up

A drunken man with a strong smell of gin…
…sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained,
his face plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin
was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and
began reading. After a few minutes he turned to the priest and asked,
“Say Father, what causes arthritis?”

The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath!”

The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be …” and returned to
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long
have you had arthritis?”

The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading that
the Pope does.”