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You won’t believe what Pranab just did: In Latest Compromise for JPC for Spectrum, Congress Agrees that A Rasa was a UDA Minister

December 7, 2010 Leave a comment

Andy Borowitz Live in NYC
Borowitz Report
   
December 7, 2010

In Latest Compromise with GOP, Obama Agrees He is a Muslim

Place of Birth ‘Negotiable,’ President Says

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the President and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus.

“The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington,” Mr. Obama told reporters at the White House.  “They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will.”

But Mr. Obama’s willing to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in Kenya.

While Mr. Obama did not immediately agree to Rep. Bohener’s demand, he hinted that yet another compromise might be in the offing: “My place of birth has been, and will always be, negotiable.”

White House sources indicated today that the President might be willing to meet the GOP halfway on his birthplace and say that he was born in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Elsewhere, moments after his capture in London, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange said, “I knew I shouldn’t have signed up for Foursquare.”

   
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Quote for the day

December 7, 2010 Leave a comment
There is a past that has not yet solidified, a past that is in the process of becoming itself. In our day-to-day lives we can perform deeds in full wide-eyed realization that we have no “alibi in being.” To understand this is to understand that, in the end, once any of our decisions or deeds are finally completed, we could not have done otherwise. As beings with free will, we can call back to ourselves from the future, meaning we can transform the future into the past. What exactly have you created today? if you didn’t create anything, don’t think for even a moment that you could have.
– Corey Anton
   American writer and educator(b. 1968)

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